School Situations

Co-ordinating each day is super easy…
…NOT!

In keeping with the last posts theme… something you guys don’t know yet is all 4 of our kids are in 4 different schools! Coordinating that each day is super easy… not!

Our oldest in high school so that’s a given.

Alyssa takes the bus and attends a school that teaches in a way that benefits her learning style. But next year this poor child starts high school too, just regular old high school and the worry this mama feels for her is hard to describe! I’m sure the school will do their best to make it an easier transition on her, but I know from my own life that you must be your own advocate! This means the three of us, Mark, myself and her Mom will really need to band together and make sure things go well for Alyssa next year. That does cut us down to 4 kids, 3 schools though!

Jayden goes to the local Catholic Elementary school and it’s within walking distance so no buses or driving to worry about with him.

Addison was enrolled in public school in another district when she started kindergarten, as my parents were caring for her before and after school while both myself and my ex worked. After the split I moved closer to my parents, so it made sense that she went to the local school. After we moved in with Mark and the kids, she was able to still go to that same school because, it just so happens that Mark works in the same town as her school. So the two of them are commuting almost an hour each way. This is not ideal but when you’re split, and you have a shared custody arrangement, these types of decisions are not yours alone to make.

My ex husband did receive notice that we were planning to move to another city and at the time nothing was said about the school situation. Addison wasn’t ready or comfortable to switch and to lessen the amount of changes for her all at once we decided not to push the idea of a school change.

We were really hopeful that the start of this school year she would be able to change to the same school as Jayden and she was on board to do so. But negative talk from family members about how hard the change would be and how it would mean less time with them really sunk into her brain and she was quickly swayed to resist the change too. Not to mention trying to get her Dad to agree to the switch is literally impossible. Sometimes in this life it feels like all you do is fight losing battles.

The reasons behind hoping for the switch for her include, not commuting everyday, making new friends in the area, being close to home and me, for those times she needs picked up or forgets something or needs anything at all. I work close to home, so it would be 5 minutes and I’d be there for her. We’d have more time together. Right now, her and Mark only get home at the earliest 6:00 so that cuts down on the amount of time we have together through the week. When special events take place at school, I’d be able to go to them! Just so many reasons, not to mention the overall simplicity it would add to the circus that is our mornings coordinating all this. But, what’s a Mom to do? I am open to your comments and feedback if you have any helpful suggestions for us! Thank you!

Life is complicated enough without adding to it with things that can be changed. This change wouldn’t come easy in terms of getting her Dad on board with it though. He starts work very early and doesn’t live in the same district as Addison’s school either so the days she’s with him she’s up at 5:30 to go down to my parents so he can make it to work on time. It’s not an easy life for this poor child and she deserves better, much better!

I’m hopeful that this will get resolved and the sooner the better because the older you get the harder it is to make friends. She’s such a sweet girl with a fun and sassy side to her but when it comes to being around new people in a new environment she’s extremely shy, so I worry about that too.

There’s a whole lot of declarations of worry in this one! It’s how I feel pretty much all the time and I think that’s a common theme for us Moms. These amazing kids are entrusted into our care either from birth or from other means and you take them under your wing and your every instinct is to protect them and love them, nurture them and build them up to become responsible adults themselves. And I don’t know if the worry even ends then, once they’re grown, I doubt it. I think mommy guilt that plagues us in motherhood is a life long commitment!

While you’re busy worrying about everyone else and everything else, you need to worry about yourself too. Take a time out when you need it. Practice self care in whatever form that looks like for you. Take time with your partner too. Your relationship with one another is the foundation for your family and if it’s not strong and in good shape everything else is impacted by it.

And how exactly do you find enough hours in the day for all these “Must Dos!?” I know it’s hard, but prioritizing is key. People make time for the things that are important to them, we just do, so start making yourself a priority and your relationship a priority and you’ll see that you can find time for it too.

Plan a weekly date night or a bi-weekly date night even. Find a window of time that you can dedicate to yourself as often as you can. Even if it’s to have a nice relaxing Epsom salt bath or spend some time reading your favorite book, working out, listening to music alone in your room, doing a face mask and having a glass of wine, whatever brings you peace and comfort, whatever you can find time for! You’ll never regret investing in yourself or your relationship, I promise!

xx Jenn