An open letter to kick off the new year:

A new year,
a new ME!

I thought it was self indulgent to see myself the way you see me. I thought it would make me an irritating arrogant ass to appreciate myself to take pride in myself to see that I really am amazing.

I was raised in a very religious home, with strict narrow-minded views that taught me pride is the enemy of God. That God hates a prideful heart. I was taught to limit my self belief and keep myself down where I belonged.

I want to change the beliefs I hold deep inside about myself. This negative self talk stops now. I deserve so much better than what I’ve been giving to myself all these years.

People see a great person when they look at me, someone with a good body, a nice smile and a pretty face. A motivated go getter who doesn’t stop until she reaches the top.

If other people, see it why can’t I?

It’s time now to shut down the lies. I am a good person with a good heart and good intent. I should not belittle myself to conform to the lies I believe about myself.

The voices from the past have no bearing on me now. I am a far better human than they will ever be and with no credit to them other than forcing me to see my own strength. Finding that strength enabled me to fight against the nonsense and break free of the controlling ways that held me down all these years.

I recognize that my past shaped me in good ways and in bad. I need to cling to the good. The strength, the perseverance, the kindness, intelligence, independence and determination to be better than what I was pigeonholed to be.

I relinquish all the bad here and now. I am not a product of the hurt or the harm but a product of true resilience. I am proud of myself for getting through all the hardships this life has thrown at me. I have overcome so much in my life. Anyone that knows what I’m talking about here, we are all warriors and we can change this.

As I leave behind the year that 2018, the challenge, the growth, the pain and the struggle, I approach this new year with fresh eyes and a clear heart – A clean slate to make 2019 the best year I’ve ever experienced.

I will stop lying to myself, believing these terrible things about myself that no longer serves me. I am no longer in a position of fear and anxiety but a position of safety and love. I trust myself and Mark. I believe in my love for myself and the love we have for each other.

I am worthy, I am beautiful, I am smart, I am kind, I am brave, I am strong, I am enough and I am worth it.

I choose love and peace and happiness. I choose to focus on the good because there is so much of it.

I believe in myself and I know without a doubt that I can do this. I can be the change I need. I can be my own hero. I’ve survived 100% of my bad days and that track record says it all.

I can do this. I got this. 2019 let’s do this!

xx Jenn